Simplicated.

✖ My Family
✖ My Friends
✖ ARASHI
...|Jun-Aiba-Ohno-Nino-Sho|
✖ Teletubies
✖ FPB
...|The SIAO CHAR BOs|
✖ Hana Yori Dango
✖ Detective Conan
✖ xxxHOLIC
✖ JAPAN

✖ go ARASHI Concert
✖ go JAPAN Study/Shopping
✖ go TAIWAN Shopping
✖ ~~Grow back long hair~~
...LONGER HAIR
✖ Customised Music Box
..."Orgel: Love So Sweet/Lacie/One Love"
✖ ~~MP3 Player~~
... NEW MP3!
✖ Red PVC Jacket
✖ Laptop cover
✖ ~~Dye hair(red series)~~
✖ Shoes
... ~~Pumps/Flats~~
... ~~Flip Flops@NUM~~
... ~~Boots(Short)~~
... Boots (Knee Length)
✖ Skinny Jeans
... ~~Black/Dark Blue/Blue~~
✖ RED Camera
✖ Get driving license (Manual)
✖ HanaDan Finals DVD
✖ Perfume
... BeBe
✖ Baking Mixer
✖ Hair Curling Hot Setter
✖ Curling Hair Brush
✖ Ceramic Hair Straightener
✖ Ceramic Hair Curler
✖ UV Nail Dryer
✖ NailArt Stamping Image Plates
✖ Konad Nail Polish
✖ Books on Hair Style Designs
✖ Books on Nail Art Designs
✖ Hoodie Jacket
✖ Baseball Jacket

JESSiE
PEiYi
HUiYi
BEEGUET
JACQUELINE
HILDA
CHRiSTiNA
LYN
PENGLiN
DARK
XiAOYi
ELEANOR
LAMER
JACiNTHA
章鱼姐
YONGSHAN
ZONGWEi
2E6 '06

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Sunday, April 26, 2009

4 years of friendship. Should it be strong? or is it weak? I don't know.. truely... I strongly believe that it should be strong.. but reality told me it's weak...

Today was a sunday.. I stayed at home.. Practically doing nothing except using the pc... I got stuck on something when i eventually needed my calender.. Just as i was looking at the calender, i realised that it'll be Xueqi's birthday soon.. In 3 days time.. So i messaged Ser, Jac and Yilin... And they replied saying that they knew Xueqi's birthday was coming.. i got fully excited.. so i asked them to think of something to get for Xueqi as birthday present.. Yilin replied saying that we can actually buy her a cake and celebrate with her on that day as we do not have much time to get a present.. Ser replied saying that she'll let me know once she thought of what to get for Xueqi.. And Jac replied... Her reply totally disappoint me.. I felt so upset and so disgusted.. Just WHO THE HECK is she? i wondered myself.. she wasn't the Jac i knew in Kent Ridge.. She wasn't the Jac i knew from FPB... She wasn't my Jac that i loved.. She was then.. a total stranger to me.. I asked myself... Have Jac changed after we got seperated.. After 5 months, have she changed? Have she changed into someone whom i totally don't know? or is she just being realistic? So realistic that 4 years of friendship was nothing to her anymore..

"I'll think when i got the time." This was what she replied... She never said such things before... It seems like she's pretty busy... So busy that she eventually have no time to think of a present for Xueqi... I'm totally disappointed.. She totally hurt my feelings... I always believed that FPB will be friends for the rest of my life... I always thought that even if we were seperated, going to different schools and courses, our friendship will never fall apart...

I felt so disgusted by her... I felt so insulted... I felt so unforgivable... I don't know.. Emotions just kept coming up.. drowning me in the pool of tears that flows down unconsciously from my eye... Friends are my belief... FPB is my treasure.. My life-long treasure... A treasure that i would never want to lose... But it's also a weapon... A weapon to hurt me... my heart...

I totally don't wish to have a friend like her... It's embarrassing.. I can't find reasons to have her as my friend.. Not even a single... I don't wish to see her face. I don't wish to hear her voice... I totally want NO relates to her... But she's my best friend... She's Jac... She is my treasure.. A treasure that i do not wish to lose...

I'm useless.. I can't even hate her for insulting me like this... She just totally broke my heart... And this is not the first time she had this kind of words... She did this before... We were in a conversation on MSN... Me and her... She said she didn't like her poly life... She said she had no close friend.. She's as if she's lonely... So i told her.. I'll always be there for her... She can message me 24-7 anytime, anywhere... I reached out my hand hoping that it'll make her feels better... But she slapped my hand away... She splashed a bucket of water on me... She told me.. "What's the use of smsing you? We are not even in the same school.. Even if i smsed you, we can't even see each other... So what's the point?" I had a shock in my life... As if I was struck by lightning... I pretended as if i was okay.. I laughed and continued chatting with her.. But my tears came rowing down... Jac splashed a bucket of water on me.. a bucket of cold, icy water...

I really wonder... What are we to her? What does FPB in her dictionary stands for? What is the meaning of our friendship? 4 years... it's not a long period of time... it's neither a short period of time... Why did our friendship become like this? Jac? What am i to you? a used tissue that you'll throw after using? I really felt discouraged to trust the friendship between us...

I'm so sorry... But friend aren't like this. Don't treat your friends like used tissues where you can use it and throw it.. FPB is a treasure... An important treasure to me.. PLEASE... don't trash it like this... I don't want to have my tears flowing for such a person like you.

♥ 9:50 AM